I came to Poland with the promise that this would be my first and last gap year, that I would discover what I really want to do with my life and set realistic goals for myself: LOOOOL, DJ Khaled’s voice in the background *you played yourself*, I really did.
While this was really been the best experience of my life, even with a global pandemic, I can’t help to have anxiety attacks out of the blue when I think about what I will do when this is over.
I am well aware that I am only 22, but I want to be 22, to own a house and to have a job that I love and also travel to world, and by worrying with all of that I also feel like I am constantly worrying about the next part of my life and not appreciating this amazing experience enough, and I always dreamed of doing something like this.
The pressure gets higher when people see potential in you (that you can’t really tell if that means that they actually think you can achieve big things in life or that their love for you blinds them into believing that), and when everyone around you has clear goals and plans for the future – even though you know you should never compare yourself; every journey is different (but still, ouch).
So this a public letter, from me to myself: I will enjoy life in Poland while it lasts, I will travel as much as I can (with my dear zł), and I will stop thinking about my plan B while I am still living my plan A.
Enjoy the ride,
Carolina
aka
A próxima Beyoncé (read this with Yusuf’s voice)
